Interview with VIVA Thornhill Woods family member, Ellyn Rubin

The staff are extremely compassionate people and very level-headed and really good listeners. They have more patience sometimes than I do. They know who they’re dealing with in the elderly and do a really, really good job of it. My mom feels very welcomed and comfortable.

She asks questions all the time and no one ever brushes her off. It’s a really good feeling to walk in and know that she’s being looked after extremely well, and that she’s happy where she is.

Unfortunately, with COVID that was an extremely scary time for all of us. But the level of care and communication with us was tremendous. We were very happy that she was there when she was there. The level of care was just amazing. We never felt like we were bothering somebody or asking too many questions. They were tremendous. They got us all through it.

We’ve held a few parties there in honor of my mom. Even before she moved in, when we were looking at it, they allowed us to use their craft kitchen. It was the perfect venue for, I think, maybe 40 people. My mom got to see where she would be living if we chose VIVA Thornhill Woods, and she was very, very happy with the whole experience. So were we.

My mom is a very outgoing person and enjoys talking to people. She’s a great conversationalist. She enjoys intelligent conversation, so she's very happy to be able to sit with people in the dining room and to just laugh and talk. She grew up in Toronto and knows pretty much everybody, so it was very nice when people moved in, and she could reconnect with them.

The community is very tight-knit. It’s very diverse, but it’s still very tight-knit. My mom was raised in the Jewish community in Toronto, and they bring in at VIVA a lot of Jewish-themed things. She really does enjoy that. That reminds her of her childhood. She enjoys those activities with music and history. They do have quite a bit to offer.

Unfortunately, my mom does not see very well, so there are things she cannot partake in, but there are still many things that she is able to do.

The nursing staff during the pandemic were tremendous. Obviously, this was new to everybody, but they were in the thick of it. Just lovely people and compassionate. The rest of the staff, the wellness center people, the people that put together the programs, community relations people, everyone just seems to be there to make everybody’s day better.

Their slogan is, “How can I make your day better?” and they really do. From the front desk person to the dining staff to the housekeepers, my mother makes friends with everyone, community members and staff. They’ve all proven to be good people and caring, wanting to do the right thing for these elderly people who may not be able to do for themselves. It is independent living, but there are times when my mom needs to know how to use the washing machine or something, and there’s always someone there to help out.

My mom is a treadmill person, and she’s on it most days. They have a lovely gym, which is very open and spacious and right near the windows. It’s a lovely space, so she uses that part of the facility.

At times she’s able to use the cinema, which is in the basement, but with her eyesight, it’s not the greatest thing for her. But they’re always showing movies, and it’s a fun night.

There is an indoor pool, which is lovely. Grandchildren are allowed to come, so that’s kind of nice. It can be joyful. They also have catchphrase and different types of games that they play. You can use the computers. She unfortunately is not able to, but there are lots of options.

She has been using an iPad to do Zoom over the pandemic, to do Zoom activities, which is lovely that they were able to do something even though people couldn’t get together. They were able to provide Zoom concerts. They also did concerts outside, which is quite nice for my mom.

Her suite is very nice. With her eyesight, it is wonderful because she knows every step and knows exactly where everything is. There is a kitchenette, but only a refrigerator and a microwave with a sink, so nothing that she can harm herself with, a stove or anything like that. The washroom is very large. She has more closets than she had when she lived in a condo. It’s spacious enough for her. With her eyesight, it’s best that she’s in one room.

Not having to make her own meals is huge because of her declining eyesight. Having three meals a day makes us feel great, and I think that has improved her life.

Being with people has also helped. She lived in a condo before, and really, her neighbors were there and that’s it. This is different. If she feels like being social, she just walks downstairs and people are always milling around. She can always go to the treadmill. I think the treadmill is probably the biggest thing for her.

We did have a treadmill at the condo she was at, but she rarely used it. She uses the halls to walk to get some fresh air. She really enjoys the fact that she can open a door and walk out, even if it’s onto a balcony. She’s still there getting fresh air.

It’s helped to know that she’s somewhere safe. At the press of a button, someone is going to help her. I think that’s probably the best thing for us. 

She loves being with people. She was always a very upbeat type of person, so she still is. It’s a nice thing for her to be able to invite people to come and have lunch with her, family, friends, that type of thing. She doesn’t drive anymore, so she’s not physically taking herself somewhere. Just knowing that she's safe in what is now her home means a lot to her.

The people who work there are a huge part of it. I think when they interview people or hire people, they’re really looking for someone who is compassionate and can work with the elderly. I think they’ve done a really good job of that. They’ve kept people for a very long time.

I’ll say the Jewishness of the place matters too. When I walk in, I feel that my mom is somewhere where she feels part of her community. Even if people are not of her religion, she feels at VIVA, the building, the people, the way things are, that she feels at home.

Our family was very concerned about her being where she was and not driving and not getting out, and only having us, who all work full-time. There were times when we couldn’t do what we needed to do for her. The idea that, God forbid, something happened, she is in a safe place. She’s not calling us; she’s pushing her button, getting the help immediately, and the nursing staff can help her right away.

Even before COVID, we were very happy that she was not going to have to prepare things for herself. Then, when COVID did hit, we were even more happy that she was where she was, being looked after as well as she was, because we knew neither of us could do what they had done for her.

When you walk into VIVA, you don’t necessarily feel like you’re in a retirement home. It’s more retirement home than long-term home type of feeling. It’s very fresh and there are smiling faces. You don’t see what I had seen in other retirement homes, people just sitting around and not doing anything for themselves and not having things done for them. It was a breath of fresh air to walk in there.

It was very new, so that helped, but they have kept it up tremendously. It always is clean, and the staff, the people who take you on the tour and explain things to you and show you a unit, were excellent. If you’re not happy with one unit, they’ll show you a different one and explain the differences. There was so much information, but it wasn’t thrown at you. It was explained.

I would say definitely do your homework. Visiting the sites was the only way that I was going to rest assured that my mom was going to be fine somewhere. Reading about them was one thing, but physically walking in with her was the most important part. She had visited many family members and friends in other retirement homes and said, "No way am I ever living in one of these." So we had our work cut out for us.

We were very thankful that VIVA was the way it was and did not make her feel like that. She felt very comfortable, felt like a youngster in her 80s there, and just felt good about it. So I would say definitely do your homework, but the physical tour is, to me, the most important.

I think it was just the ambiance, the whole unit of VIVA, the people. We met with wellness people, we met with community relations people, we met with the director. All of those people combined made us feel very comfortable.

I don’t know that there was much weighing because the others were very different, so it was more of, oh, okay, we found the place. We did watch it being built, and it’s close to where a family member lives, so we knew it was going up, but I think it was just a one and done. Basically the ambiance, the welcomeness to everything there, and just being toured around.

I was thrilled there was a pool and the gym looked wonderful and the dining room. We did have lunch there during our tour, which was great. That was a big seller, to be able to sit and see what happens in the dining room and how things work and the food. Everybody was very pleasant and wanted to come over and talk to my mom. A lot of them knew her, so we got lucky. It felt like we were in a condo building.

The process of moving was very hard, of course. She’d been there for a very long time. I think there are companies out there now who assist with that, which probably would have been a good help for us because it took a lot longer than we thought it would. But on the VIVA end of it, they were very helpful to let us know, if you have this much in the way of furniture, maybe we need to rethink something, because they know the size of the units and they know what’s going to fit, and they also understand the attachment people have to their things.

They were very helpful in that way, and the move-in process was smooth. They had a mover who had moved many people in, so they were recommended to us, and that seemed to work well. It was very nice welcome when she came down for her first meal. It wasn’t just, okay, here are your keys type of thing.

The community relations person was there to sit with her and introduce her to people, which is very important, even though she knew a lot anyway. They introduced her to people on her floor and to people with shared interests. They were definitely there to help her feel welcome.

I would probably seek out an advocate, someone who knew the environment that my mom was going into. We did have family help doing that, but I think I would have, before we made the decision, asked an advocate how this was going to be best for my mom, how she would transition best, and whether there were things we could do prior to moving in.

I’m not familiar with moving an 80-year-old person into a retirement home. So that’s what I probably would have done. I think we did very well on our own with our family help, but I would probably seek out an advocate of some sort.