Interview with Thornebridge Gardens - Verve Senior Living family member, Donna Tays

What we were really looking for was a community that was located and that still had a youth connection. My mom, despite the fact that she’s 93, came from her condo, where you’re living amongst children and all sorts of diversity of people. Coming into a residence, that was one of our considerations, that she’s a very young 93 and she loves the youth connection. 

Thornebridge Gardens has taken advantage of the fact that there’s a high school right next door. They do programs where they integrate the seniors and some of the community groups with the seniors. So it’s been great for my mom. She’s gained new friendships in the youth category. There's a local youth ambassador program, and they pick a number of seniors from Thornebridge Gardens, interview them, and then they create this connection between a student and a senior. What’s happened in my mom’s case is that they continue to develop this relationship.

Even though the program is over, they still get together. My mom likes to get her little gifts. Her youth ambassador friend likes to come in sometimes for a visit. So what a special thing, and I think that’s encouraged with Thornebridge Gardens.

You can have as much of it as you want or as little as you want. I met almost all the residents there over the last couple of years, and there are some folks that prefer a little bit quieter, more sedentary style, sticking more to their rooms for all their own reasons.

For those who really have continued to have quite a big friend group, like my mom has, she’s been able to take advantage of the knitting and the bridge clubs, crib clubs, and movie nights. One of her favorite things this year is that she noticed that around the development there were these big planters.

She got together with others and put together a gardening club. They have taken over some of the plots, and she checks in on her geraniums, and they’ve been beautiful for the residents to check in on too. I can’t say enough about them. They have been so accommodating. She’s made some really great friend connections as well, not just staff and residents, but more of a friendship. They’ve gone above and beyond.

COVID tested every business that we know of on a professional level, but I can say they have exhausted themselves for sure. How grateful could any child be to know that their parent was so looked after when the lockdowns happened and we knew that they were getting the best of care in the worst of the situation?

Some staff were so accommodating of the residents who have pets when they couldn’t leave to even walk their little dogs. Some of those little extra things make life continue to be worth living for a senior. They have braved it out. They’ve put on their happy face. I’ve never heard a snippy word or a snide comment.

I know that there’s a tremendous appreciation from families for what they’ve done for their loved ones. Staff here took the protocols, they ran with them, they enforced them, always being gracious.

One of the things we love about Thornebridge Gardens is that it really is situated in a park-like setting. There are beautiful mature trees and shrubs, and beautiful walking paths in and around the development, in their courtyard for social gatherings, and then all around the development. It’s beautiful, and they maintain it beautifully. 

That was one of the things that drew us. My mom was an avid gardener. She loved nature, and being able to see the seasons change and having that, there was always something to look forward to. Oh, the dogwoods are going to be blooming. Oh, the lavender’s out. In fact, she’s clipped some of the lavender and made up little lavender sachets for some of the staff there. So really special.

Her suite is wonderful. My mom does suffer from macular degeneration, so she’s very light-sensitive. The way the building is situated, we specifically looked for a north-facing unit. Those units just happen to look over a beautiful grove of trees.

Her suite is cool in the summer, and the balcony is stellar. It's a little bit horseshoe-shaped and fully covered, so it's a beautiful sitting area, great for entertaining. And for anyone who loves plants, it's ample for pots, and it almost feels like it extends the space.

The suites in general have great floor plans. Being a realtor, I can honestly say that the bathroom size is very generous for the size of the unit. All in all, very well laid out, and my mom loves it. We went in there and decorated it, and it’s beautiful.

If I asked her, she would say it’s superior. It’s been super for her. The whole building feels like coming home, not like going to an institution. The feeling of the building is home. The gardens, the entry, the big open spaces within it. 

Obviously, not having all those stairs is wonderful. And she still feels like she’s a community member. As she would put it, I haven’t got a care in the world. She said, "I’m so well taken care. My family takes care of the little nitty-gritty little things, and Thornebridge Gardens takes care of everything else.

It’s seamless. It’s very easy for her. She said they’re really open to suggestions. That’s not always the case with places. They’ve got a rather vocal majority of people who love to make improvements. I think it’s been wonderful that the residents have input. So that has kept her on her game. 

I have an inside scoop because I had dealt with the owners through previous transactions, so I know the heart of the people involved in the organization. They’re second to none. At the heart of the organization, there’s an incredibly compassionate and caring set of owners with a very ethical value system. That’s evident in how they run the organization. That’s a blessing to see.

I know that they truly care about the people. They’re very careful in their staff selection and the nurturing of their staff. From day one, when my mom arrived, all the staff were quick to call her by name. They’ve got 140-plus people, and yet they managed to call everybody by name and learn special things about them, which just shows the value of caring in that community.

One of the things, my mom had just recently gone on a Lifeline before moving into the residence, and that was one thing that all guests are supplied with at Thornebridge Gardens. From a child perspective, you can let your shoulders relax, knowing that your family’s being looked after in so many ways.

My mom is so independent. I can’t even say that at 93 I’m in the caregiving mode with my mom. She’s an independent woman who keeps me on my toes. I’ve traveled with her, and I need a holiday after coming back because she’s so great and she has great mobility.

It's nice for me to know that there isn’t any isolation. You can have a lot of people around you and still feel isolated, but she’s making friendships. As she’s resided there, other people that she knew from the community have become a part of the community. That’s been wonderful.

As our choice was Thornebridge Gardens, we’re also close in our physical location to her. It’s nothing for me to pop in and out at any time, except when we had the lockdowns. But it’s really wonderful to be able to do that. All the girls on staff know who I am. It’s really nice. It’s just super.

It is a big decision, without a doubt. It’s probably one of the biggest decisions you’re making on behalf of your parent. I would say try and make it with them if you can, if they’re at that stage, and make it sooner rather than later.

You’ve got to really understand where your family member is at mentally, physically, everything, and what’s important to them. When I toured many properties, the moment I walked into Thornebridge Gardens, I felt like this was a home. It didn’t feel institutional. That’s something that’s really, really important.

I think it’s really wise to introduce seniors to a place like Thornebridge Gardens a little bit earlier than you might think. They need to know that they can take advantage of what’s offered and be in a place that they’re comfortable with as they progress.

My advice is to actually go visit the properties physically. I would do my research online first, but I would physically go and see what area of town they’re in. Are they really isolated? Go visit them, even more than once, to really get a true sense of the property.

Be really honest with the administrator on what your parents’ needs are. That’s really important because this is a matching up, so to speak, of your parent or loved one with a community. Are they offering the kind of things that you know will enhance your loved one’s life? What is the setting like? 

As hard as it is to make that decision and have your loved one leave their family home or condo, it’s important that they feel honoured in this process and respected. Just because they’re older doesn’t mean that they don’t know what’s going on. They do.

It’s very honouring to find the right match for your loved one, so that they can have their last journey, so to speak, in a place that gives them what they need. That can change over time too. My mom is probably one of the least needy in ways. But we have that ability, down the road as things progress, she won’t have to leave Thornebridge Gardens, which she now feels is her home. She can get a few of the extra services that she might need moving forward. So that’s important.

Coming from just the lifestyle that my mom has led, we wanted a location that would be similar to her standing, let’s put it that way. It is a bit more of a prestigious residence, and that was important that it was a reflection of the standard that she wanted to continue with in her senior years.

We wanted it to be a home that she would be proud to introduce her friends to when they came for tea or visits. I wanted it to be something I knew that she wouldn’t be going, “Oh, I’m living in this little place.” It’s like, “Welcome to my home. Look what I’ve got here. And come, and we can go up to the garden now, or let’s go to the little bistro if you want to have a glass of wine, you can order anything you like.”

It's also nice that there is quite a lovely dining room that can accommodate family dinners or birthday parties or things like that that you want to have. So it makes it easier to have it at her residence. She feels like she can entertain.

She invited the whole family to come for dinner, and there we were behind the beveled edge glass doors in a beautiful dining room. They accommodated with a meal prep that was lovely. She got to make some substitutions that she wanted. What a wonderful thing to be able to do that as you would entertain in your own home, and to have a private setting within your residence.

I think you can walk through the doors of many facilities, and it can hit you right then: Does this feel like a fresh, clean, and beautiful property, or maybe not so much? I’m sure we’ve all visited places where that’s been the case. We wanted something better, and we really felt that Thornebridge Gardens delivered on that.

We knew the second the doors opened. We were located dead centre in the city, in the uptown location, steps to the live theatre, Massey Theatre, steps to local restaurants. It's a completely level walk to the bus stop, to the taxi service, to everything.

Everything was within a very, very short walk. If your family needed a stroller, everything was universally accessible along the way, so we made sure that was a consideration.

When the doors opened, and you walked into a very open, inviting, and lovely looking area with fresh flowers, beautiful seating arrangements, and then with a view to the dining room, it felt on the posh side. This could almost double for a little resort.

It felt great, just coming into Thornebridge Gardens. We weren’t led down narrow hallways and into a little room over to see something. It just was open, inviting. It felt like it said: Welcome. 

It was easy peasy. We just made it a fun process. She had quite a large condominium, penthouse style, with a lot more stuff than she could take. We just made it a fun experience by saying, just put in the middle of the living room the pieces that you love, everything you love, put in the middle. She knew she couldn’t take it all and said, "There’s a lot of stuff here that I don’t even need." Number two is: surround yourself with the things you love.

We arranged for the mover, and I went in there ahead of her moving over. We consulted on how she would like things, then I moved her, set it all up, and then when she got there, she said, “Oh my gosh, this already feels like my home.”

But I made sure that she had all the input. "Now, where do you want this picture? Where do you want that picture?" So she still felt like she had control. That’s important. They still want to know where the things are going to go. We came up with some beautiful storage solutions, and it all worked out.

For us it was really easy, but I realize not everyone has the same support of someone who will do that for them. My recommendation would be there are services out there, and if you don’t have family that can handle that, then I would invest in having someone be that person. It just makes the transition a splendid one instead of, they’re just putting me away.

It really makes them have some autonomy over what’s going on, what’s happening. Especially if they just need to sit there and point, put that there and that there, and that would be great there. It’s enough to validate them. 

There's just a level of compassion at Thornebridge Gardens that I would wish for every resident coming into their new home. The staff would not go without giving me easy access coming in, even earlier than was originally designated.

They had a beautiful welcoming gift there for her too, a beautiful cozy blankie embroidered. It just said welcome. It was just another little touch that can get overlooked. It was just special at Thornebridge Gardens. 

I would have maybe moved half a year earlier if I look back now, but in the end, we think there was some divine intervention there, that everything just happened as it should. The room that was perfect for her became available. Everything was good.

Not having COVID would have been a great thing. But now we’re through the worst of it, and everything that the staff now do and Thornebridge Gardens does is like icing on the cake. They're getting back to more live entertainment and things that they were restricted. It’s coming back, and it will be just a welcome thing for everybody.