Interview with The Roxborough Retirement Residence - Verve Senior Living family member, Silvia Perkins

I really, really appreciate how the staff treats all the residents as if they’re family. They respect them as elders at their age, but they sincerely care about them. They like them. You can see that. It’s evident in how they communicate with them. It’s evident in the daily activities, in all aspects of being at The Roxborough Retirement Residence, where my dad lives. It’s a family. That’s how I look upon it more than anything else.

Many of the staff have been there for quite a long period of time. So they’ve developed and built a tremendous relationship, not only with the residents, but the resident's family members as well. So that’s first and foremost in my mind.

Prior to my dad's moving from their home in Burlington, I could see his health deteriorating. He was 88 years old at the time, and when he moved to Newmarket, he wasn’t at the Roxborough but was at another location for just a year. But when the Roxborough opened, and he wanted to move closer to where my mom was staying at Southlake Village, which is a long-term care home, it changed things.

When he moved in there, it’s almost as if a light came on. He started being much more active with individuals, participating and doing activities, and seeing his whole demeanour change, the color of his skin. He put on a little bit of weight, which he needed. I just saw an amazing growth in him even at that elderly age. It was wonderful to see. It was like a light that came on and his desire to continue living and moving forward and enjoying life as best as possible.

I remember going to the Roxborough right during construction and seeing the plans and what was going to be provided, and everything is just top-notch. I know they recently did an update. They’re constantly updating, making sure that the facilities provide the best for the residents and the best life that the residents can enjoy.

They have a Roxy Bar in there where they gather. They have games. They have the pool room, not a swimming pool, but the pool table or the billiards table, which Dad enjoys. They have the theater, the arts and crafts room. The dining room is wonderful, with linens, beautifully decorated and comfortable chairs. It’s just top-notch in my mind. In my dad’s opinion, Dad actually calls it the Taj Mahal. That’s the name he gave it about eight years, nine years ago.

His suite is on the third floor. He didn’t want anything too large, as he knew that my mum would not be able to stay with him. He has a lovely corner unit, and it’s quiet because it overlooks the beautiful courtyard where the gardens are maintained with beautiful flowers and trees and plants and a gazebo where residents can go and sit and enjoy the outdoors and be protected from the sun.

Dad, being an avid gardener over the years, always enjoys that lovely view. He sits on his balcony, and it’s a quiet area. He doesn’t face the street, which can be noisier. Dad’s room is very quiet and ideal for his needs. It has a bedroom, bathroom, living area, and a little tiny kitchenette, and it works for him perfectly. He does not want to leave now.

I think the biggest thing, not just for my dad but for many seniors, is social interaction. Individuals that are alone do not have the opportunity to interact with peers their age due to health reasons, ability, and mobility. So being in a facility of this nature where residents are of the same mindset is the main thing. They have a chance to meet and socialize with other individuals, and that’s key.

During COVID, when Roxborough, as many places were, in complete lockdown, it was very difficult for many individuals, as we know. Look what happened in so many of the nursing homes and in retirement facilities. That was a challenge for my dad and for many of the residents.

They have games that they can participate in, they can do puzzles, they can do cards, they can do physical activities, exercise. They go to movies, they have performances, concerts. I myself and my girlfriend have gone and performed there a number of times for entertainment. I truly believe that’s what gives seniors purpose and a reason for getting up every day. There is something different to see and something different to do.

His fitness level has skyrocketed even when he’s not participating in some of the fitness classes. He would still sit in his La-Z-Boy chair and do leg lifts on a regular basis. He says, “I got to keep that core strong.” He stays active that way. Even when they were not allowed to have meals in the dining room, he would walk the hall back and forth the length of the whole entire third floor, sometimes three or four times a day, just to get up and keep moving.

Having the courtyard out there that the residents can use has been a really big saving grace. He uses it like nobody else. He’s out there regularly. When all of this COVID happened, and I heard about Captain Tom in England walking 100 lengths of his backyard, my wheels started turning. I approached my dad because I knew he liked to be physically active.

I suggested, how about you walk 100 km prior to your 100th birthday? He turned 100 on April 14. Megan Solomon, who is one of the employees at the Roxborough, calculated and found out that doing the lap of the courtyard 15 times equaled 1 km. That gave him a purpose. It gave him a reason to get up and accomplish a goal.

He was able to reach his 100-kilometre goal by September 2. He raised $180,000 so far. There’s my dad walking across the finish line with his walker and two Canadian flags on it. He had a Canadian cap, and he put it over his heart as if to say thank you to Canada. I’m getting emotional, but it showed perseverance, determination, heart, and spirit.

He often says that he always took the correct fork in the road. We laugh and say he has nine lives because there are so many times that he shouldn’t have survived, but he did. He’s done remarkably well. That’s why he says it’s almost like his life has come full circle, living in this beautiful facility now. He is so thankful, thankful to the Canadian people, thankful to Canada.

I think it goes back to the caring nature. I have not met an employee who does not have a smile on their face towards the residents, all guests, and visitors. It’s the caring, kind, respectful, and friendly family nature. And that comes through. If people feel that they are cared about and that they’re valued, that gives them a purpose. It gives them a reason. They feel like I count. Nobody wants to feel undervalued, and everyone of them feels that way all the time.

Dad says, “I just don’t know how I got so lucky.” He feels bad because he doesn’t remember all the girls’ names who are serving in the dining room. He says, “I can’t keep track.” But they know that he is appreciative. They know that Dad can’t drink anything cold or eat anything cold. So when his water comes, it’s room temperature. They remember that and share that with new employees.

He does not eat ice cream. Even his yogurt is warmed up. Even his salad is at room temperature. That means the world, because they actually remember that. There are so many people to feed, but they remember that about him, and that’s what makes him feel special

He calls it home, and that’s his home. He does not look upon it as, "This is where you moved me. This is my home," and that speaks volumes. So if he’s happy, I’m happy. I’m an only child, and all you want is for your parents to be happy and live out their retirement years and their elderly years being happy.

Yes, I live two hours away from him, and it is a bit of a drive, but I’m willing to do it. We talk daily, if not three times a day. So knowing that he’s comfortable and he’s looked after and that the Roxborough does everything to make him and the other residents cared for and feel special, then of course I’m comfortable with that too. He wants to live out his days at the Roxborough. We’ll do everything we can to make that possible. I’m very content.

Definitely do your research. Definitely inquire, take the tour, go for a meal, and make sure that this is exactly ideal for your loved one. Ask to see the rooms and the various suites, because they are different. There are different sizes, so they accommodate everybody.

The Roxborough has gone out of their way, especially during COVID, to make sure that everyone is safe. They’ve done so remarkably well. Yes, it was hard and yes, there was unhappiness, but they did what they had to do to keep everybody safe. So definitely go check. That’s all I can say. I don’t think you’ll be disappointed in any way.

My mom had been recently moved to Southlake Village long-term care, which is across the street from the Roxborough, right by Southlake Hospital. My dad wanted to be closer to my mum, so that was the primary reason we ended up with The Roxborough Retirement Residence. It was convenient for my dad. He didn’t need to drive. He was still driving, but he could just walk, which he did sometimes three times a day to go visit my mom.

When I saw the Roxborough under construction and talked to Ian Maxwell, who was going to be the general manager at the time when my father moved in, he shared the plans and the various facilities that would be there. I knew that it would be an ideal setting for my dad. Here we are, accomplishing two birds with one stone: convenience to see my mom and comfortable retirement living for my dad.

I liked the type of facility that it was going to be. I liked the courtyard idea in the backyard. Knowing that residents didn’t just have a little balcony to go on, they could go out and walk and enjoy the courtyard. Convenience for shopping, the drugstores right across the street, X-ray facilities, and the hospital right there all mattered.

Location is important for seniors when it becomes a mobility issue. Dad is no longer driving, thank goodness, but he still does get out. He can go pick up medication, he can go to the drugstore, he can go to the hospital if he has an appointment. Facilities are important. Knowing that he had a balcony and underground parking was important too, especially in the wintertime. Residents don’t have to clean off their vehicles.

I think I looked at all of those factors, and when they were there and they met the criteria that was important to us, that made the decision.

I think the main thing is to ask your loved ones what they want. What do they expect to experience at a retirement facility? I know that my dad was hesitant at first when I brought up the topic that I think you need to move closer. It was met with some hesitancy, let’s put it that way. Eventually, I think my dad realized that this was probably the best option, especially with my mom’s failing health.

Talk to your family members about what’s important to them. Don’t make decisions based just on what you want for them. Take them, if possible, to tour the facility with you so that they can see what’s offered. Have a meal there. Meet other people who are living there. Have your loved ones talk to them about their experiences. Hearing it from peers roughly in their age bracket might make them more open to the decision of moving into a retirement facility.

You’ve got to keep them involved and ask questions, and don’t push them, guide them. I had to wait for my dad to finally admit that yes, I think we need to start looking. I’m glad we did because his health was suffering.

At first, he moved to another location before he moved to The Roxborough, so the move went well. We realized that my mom needed the care as soon as possible, and it really was very smooth. My children, my husband, we all pitched in. It was difficult for my parents to part with many of their belongings, but we respected their belongings. We didn’t throw things out. We tried to sell things that we knew couldn’t be used and wouldn’t be needed. Overall, it went very, very well.

Being together was the most important thing. My children, my parents’ grandchildren, visited them regularly. Being teenagers and knowing that family was close by certainly helped.