Interview with Scarborough Retirement Residence family member, Karen Fraser

What I liked about Scarborough Retirement Residence when I first visited it was that it’s a smaller community. I felt there was more of an opportunity for my mum to feel part of a family, versus getting lost in the crowd, had it been in a larger center. Scarborough bills themselves as a boutique senior residence, and I consider it as such. There’s very much a family feel when you enter the residence.

In terms of the ownership and management team, I feel that they’re really first class. That has really demonstrated itself very strongly to me.

They’ve taken a number of initiatives to ensure the safety of the residents and family members as well. An example was that at great expense they purchased and installed a visitor trailer outside of the home that, during the worst of COVID, at least allowed family to visit residents, albeit we were separated by a glass partition. But at least it helped facilitate some social connection during a difficult time. So that’s one example of the kind of extra mile that I felt Scarborough went to.

I can’t say enough about the activity director, Chelsea. She’s full of energy and always full of great ideas, constantly thinking of new ways to engage the residents in interesting activities. In the case of my mother, I classify her as a bit of an introvert, so she’s not readily one to get involved, but with some coaxing, she has gotten involved in a few of the activities. I myself actually volunteer there, so I’ve been able to see firsthand the extent to which the activities department goes the extra mile in terms of engaging the residents.

They have teas, they have socials, of course, the standard bingo, which I’m sure most residences have. Under normal circumstances, there would have been outdoor excursions and that type of thing. Certainly, there are a lot of opportunities to engage socially, and I see that with a lot of the residents. I think the fact that it is a smaller community gives a greater opportunity to get to know some of the residents a little better by name and to develop those kinds of relationships than it would be in a larger community.

What really impressed me was the fact that we had, during the worst of [the pandemic], biweekly family town hall meetings, Zoom meetings where family members and residents could join in. The owners and management team literally had an agenda where they went through the current situation within the residence and within the greater Toronto community, vaccination updates, and things they were undertaking to improve and ensure the safety of the residents.

That level of communication and dialogue with families was incredible. I do know from others who have family members in other seniors residences that that level of communication with families wasn’t happening. To me, that really was an impressive step to make sure that family members are put at ease, have the latest information. In my mind, they err on the side of caution.

It’s an older building. I think it’s about 35 years old. However, when my mother first moved in, they were in the process of renovating and redoing the dining room, which they have since done. What impresses me most is the amount of reinvestment in the building, not only in terms of ensuring it meets all the required standards, but just aesthetic upgrades. Right now, there is a lot of renovation and construction going on to improve the building.

They have a lovely tea room, which is a nice gathering place for the residents. They have a huge auditorium in the lower level where they hold a lot of the activities. In former times, pre-COVID, they would have concerts down there and presentations. They celebrate birthdays during the month with cake and refreshments. There are physical education classes. There’s an in-suite hair salon. They also host a family barbecue, which is a huge opportunity for families to get together with their loved ones and with management and staff.

Her suite is quite spacious. She has a small kitchenette with a fridge, a microwave, and a sink. She doesn’t use it that much because all her meals are included, but if she would like to have someone up to her suite to serve them some coffee or tea or have a little drink, she can do that. It’s a rectangular-shaped living room, so quite spacious, and then there’s a separate room, quite a large bedroom, and a nice ensuite bathroom with a sliding door, which makes it easy to get in and out, especially because she has a walker.

I think the area where I’ve seen the most change is in her sense of contentment. That contentment is probably driven more by the fact that she doesn’t have to worry about anything. She doesn’t have to worry about looking after the house or paying bills or anything like that. She can really just enjoy her life. I’ve noticed the difference when I call her. There’s an upbeat tone in her voice where in the past it would have been more, oh, I’m not feeling that great, or it’s not a great day. More often than not, she’s in an upbeat mood.

There’s no question that this kind of change is a significant change for someone of that age, to move from the family home into a new residence. But with time, I’ve seen her make that adjustment and feel quite comfortable, with the feeling that she’s safe and doesn’t have to worry about anything.

It definitely feels like a place where you can actually call it home. It has that welcoming feel as soon as you walk in the door. The staff is super friendly. There are usually residents sitting in the lobby enjoying a conversation, and it very much, I think, gives you that smaller-community sense that you’re in a home versus a bigger residence.

There’s certainly a big sense of relief in regard to my mom moving and living there. It’s also a sense of knowing that she’s safe and secure and that if anything were to happen, there’s somebody there in minutes. Her day-to-day needs are looked after. That’s huge peace of mind, really, for any family member, knowing that their loved one is in a safe environment and supportive environment.

If you live in the Scarborough area, I would recommend Scarborough as a wonderful alternative. I know there are other options out there, but certainly from my perspective and from my mum’s perspective, the fact that you’re living in a smaller community, if that is of value to you, was certainly a value to my mom and myself.

Certainly, the level to which the management and ownership take an interest and actually care for their residents is a huge part of it. The fact that they’re willing to continue to make investments and reinvestments in the property and to improve the home for their residents speaks a lot to the importance and the value of that property as an option.

The main thing is engaging the loved one and having that conversation about their safety, sharing with them your concern for their health and safety. Sometimes it’s a difficult decision on the part of your loved one to make that move. But if isolation is a particular issue, if they’re really on their own and they don’t have a partner with them, that can make a huge difference in terms of making that step toward transitioning from living independently on your own to moving into a congregate environment.

There’s support there, there’s health support, there’s a social network, there are activities, there are meals. All these things, as you age, become more and more of a challenge, and doing it alone isn’t easy. From the family member’s sense of peace of mind, knowing that your family member is being looked after can take a toll off caregivers and family members if you’re constantly checking in on your loved one as they age. I understand that.

At the time, my father had passed away, and my mother was living alone in the family home. I had noticed that she was becoming increasingly isolated, and I was also concerned for her physical safety. So I started the process of researching available retirement homes within the Scarborough area because, for convenience, I needed it to be close by.

I engaged my mom in the process and put together a list of local retirement homes, and we went around and did the tours. I tried to engage my mom in doing an overnight stay or a couple of nights’ stay, which a lot of the residences will offer through guest suites, so that you can experience what it would be like for a few days or even a week before you make your decision. But she didn’t need to do that. She felt that once we did the tour, she had a sense of what it would be like to live there.

I had a checklist in terms of what the priorities were that I wanted to see. Number one was obviously safety and how the residence was set up, convenience, amenities, size of suite, and cost. So we looked at all that and then based our decision on that.

The move went relatively well and over time she has settled in and felt at home. She knows people there, they know her, and I think that makes a huge difference. As well for her, the fact that she doesn’t have to concern herself or worry about the day-to-day things that we all have to deal with in living on our own or independently. So that was, I think, the main thing

I liked the layout. I liked that it was a smaller building. To me, my mom is more of an introvert. I think she would have felt lost in a larger facility. So definitely I liked the smaller feel. There were enough activities that would interest her should she wish to participate. She likes to exercise, and those classes are offered, and she does participate in a few of the other activities.

I think it was the cost as well as the size of the suite. It really felt like home to her. The layout that she is in facilitated her having a nice living area and a separate bedroom.

We moved my mom into the residence before we sold the house, and I would highly recommend this. What that allowed us to do was keep her part and parcel of deciding what she could take with her in terms of furnishing. We did a layout of the floor plan, of what would fit, and what would look nice and what would make her feel at home, and having those few items that would remind her of home.

Once we had her firmly settled in her new home, then my brothers and I were able to do what we needed to do to get the house ready for sale. Doing it that way saved her the anxiety of knowing that with any kind of move, you’re going to be selling stuff and disposing of stuff, and that can be emotionally really difficult. She wasn’t part of that end process when we did sell the house, and I think that made a huge difference in making that transition easier for her.

Their maintenance staff is outstanding. They were there to help with the move-in.

When my mom initially moved in, she was in another suite on another floor, and over time, she didn’t particularly like the view. So I had put my name in because they offer this as an option. You can relocate within the building if another suite becomes available. We were contacted that another suite on the other side of the building became available.

Scarborough Retirement Residence looked after the entire move in-house. Obviously, I supported them in terms of her personal belongings, but the actual physical move of bed and setup and heavy furniture was all looked after by the maintenance staff. So that kind of in-house service, if you feel that you want to make a move into another suite layout for whatever reason, exists as an option for you.

I really don’t think I would have done anything differently. I think the process by which we undertook the move, evaluating her current situation in her home, whether it was still working or not, going through the exercise of finding a number of different residences, and having a checklist of pros and cons served us well.

I wish my mom had taken advantage of spending some time in all the residences that we did look at to see if it was a good fit for her. Probably that would add to ensuring that you’re making the right decision from the get-go. But all in all, I think we came at it in a way that served us well. I have no regrets, and I know my mom has no regrets.